dashdrive:

i have one or two passwords for everything if you figured them out you could probably take over my life

(via armadillo)

nowyoukno:

Now You Know why you should never release 1.5 million balloons at once. (Source)

(via sorelatable)

nickelbackthatassup:

when I was six I threw a tantrum because I wanted a slushie from 711 and I remember my dad said “I will never buy you a slushie” AND LITERALLY RIGHT NOW HE CAME IN THE CAR WITH A SLUSHIE AND I WAS LIKE WHY DIDNT YOU GET ME ONE AND HE LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYE AND SAID “REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE SIX”

Plot twist: u have no dad. U are speaking with ur mirror who said that I are just fat.

(via cramp)

This one for u an ill take the rest.

This one for u an ill take the rest.

(via hi)

sharingneedles:

i love birthdays they’re so motivational like if i can manage to keep myself alive for another year ill get money and cake

(via crystallized-teardrops)

guy:

here is a cute janitor pug who likes to clean blogs

guy:

here is a cute janitor pug who likes to clean blogs

(via pizza)

evilvagina:

is that a dick shaped rock or did he cover his dick in mud

evilvagina:

is that a dick shaped rock or did he cover his dick in mud

(via legalmexican)

frlcker:

having a crush is painful and horrible but not having a crush is just so boring

(Source: studip, via hi)

gnarly:

I would be a morning person, if morning happened around 1pm

(via armadillo)

queefjerkey:

how many tumblr followers do you have mom

yeah that’s what i thought

(via cumfort)